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Dinner Al Fresco

view from the picnic table, elizabeth gamble gardens, palo alto

view from the picnic table, elizabeth gamble gardens, palo alto

We’re in the midst of a surprise heat wave here in Northern California, boasting 80+ degree days for the last few weeks.  Within a matter of days, I packed up my tall boots and busted out my sandals, started sleeping with the windows open at night, wanted to bike everywhere, and began eating dinner outside again.

There’s something magical about eating outside.  Similar to the way candlelight helps us savor and honor our food, eating with our feet in the grass helps us slow down.  Food seems to taste better, the evening light makes people look extra beautiful, and the stress of the day washes away more quickly.  We’re less likely to use our phones.  We’re more playful.  We’re nicer to each other.  We feel healthier.  Dinners last longer than five minutes.  And the grown-ups don’t need to get on our hands and knees to scrape mashed veggies off the floor when we’re finished eating (BONUS)!

Tonight before we even started cooking, the kids said “can we please eat outside tonight…can we please eat outside every single night from now until forever?”  They put words to what I was feeling.  In this case, we’re all on the same page.  The kids and the grown-ups want the very same, simple, universal pleasure: dinner al fresco.

What’s your favorite meal to make when you’re eating outside?  And if you can’t eat outside at your home, where do you love to go? (The photo above is one of my favorite spots to eat takeout on a picnic bench while literally, smelling the roses.)

No Boundaries

photo by ex-smith, via flickr creative commons

photo by ex-smith, via flickr creative commons

I recently came across a list of “70 Things to Do Before You Have Children.”  I love lists — these dreamy, cheesy bucket lists included.  I always click on them…curious to see what simple things and what complicated things and what amazing and what surprising things people aspire to.

When I saw this title I clicked with a tiny bit of fear.  “What should we have done before having kids?  Eeeeek…are those things off the table now that we’re parents?  Where was this list 10 years ago?” all drifted through my head as I scrolled down the page.  I looked through the list with the lens of my current life circumstance and breathed a sigh of relief. Everything on that list is doable as a parent.  Everything. Every single thing.

Yes, some things might not be as desirable once you’re responsible for other human beings (#4 Jump out of a perfectly good airplane and #49 Experience Spring Break in its glory in Cancun) and some things become more logistically complicated (#13 Live in Southern California for at least a year and #57 Spend a whole day making love without every leaving the house).  And some of these things are better done alone or with friends or with your partner (#27 Stage dive or crowd surf at a concert).  But none of these things are off the table.

We (at least those of us in the U.S.) live in a world where life is punctuated by stages.  “Oh, that’s what young single people do.”  “That’s where the boring marrieds hang out.”  “You need a stroller to do that.”  “That hotel is for old people.”  We love to group people into categories and then define what’s in bounds and off limits for them, and these messages are so loud that I think people actually start to believe them.

It doesn’t have to be this way.  My friends just came back from a multi-day trek with Patagonia during which they carried their daughter on their back.  An old boss took his 5th grade daughter on a year-long trip around the world.  Sean and I went to the Great Barrier Reef without our kids.  Families are climbing mountains.  Moms are going to surf camp.  A mom friend of mine recently piloted an airplane.  People are getting fitter than ever when they’re 40.  Today’s world is about opportunities, not limits.  And as each of us navigates our own life stages and choices, let’s not forget that.

What’s the craziest thing on your bucket list, and are there life changes you think could get in your way of getting it done?

Trusting Our Guts

photo(18)This morning was one of those mornings when I felt like I’d run a marathon before I even left the house.  Jolted out of a dream at 6am by the sound of two sets of feet running full tilt into the bedroom, I went through the usual motions – brew coffee, give breakfast options, cook breakfast, start making lunches, set table, serve breakfast (my kids are still too little to make their own breakfast).  As soon as two steaming bowls of oatmeal were on the table, a three-alarm tantrum began.  “I don’t want oatmeal…I want eggs!  I want eggs!  I want eggs!  I know I didn’t say it, but I want eggs.  I WANT EGGGGSSSSS!”  This went on for twenty solid minutes, at which point my son finally bellied up to the table and said he’d finish his (then cold) oatmeal if I’d make him some eggs once his bowl was empty.  Impressed by his problem solving, I conceded, knowing that I had 25 minutes to shower, get dressed, get them dressed, finish the lunches, get my work stuff together, COOK EGGS, and get out the door.  Needless to say, I’m lucky my clothes matched.

The day progressed at a similar pace – albeit with rational grown-ups, not tantrum-y kids — until my meetings ended at 2pm.  My brain was tired from work and my heart was still unshakably heavy from the seemingly endless morning tantrum, and I knew I needed a re-set in order to make the rest of the day productive.  So I gave myself one.  I laced up my running shoes and headed out of the office for a 40-minute loop in the sunshine.  Transported by Pandora’s “Dance Cardio” station, my frustration quickly faded away, opening up space for new energy and fresh thinking.  After just a few minutes of running, I was able to focus on what I needed to do in the afternoon.  As my stride evened out, my perspective shifted, and I returned back to my afternoon workload in a much brighter place.

I bring this up because although I write a lot about (and wholeheartedly believe in) planning and thinking ahead and optimizing and being proactive, the reality of life is that gut feelings…reactions…instincts often trump all of those things.  Structure and guardrails and commitments are there to guide us and remind us of what matters most and how we want to live.  They’re there to push us to do things like wake up in the dark to squeeze in a workout or clean our veggies on Sunday so we don’t eat cheese and crackers for dinner every night.  But life doesn’t always go according to plan, and spontaneous decisions are sometimes the best way to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves in the moment.

Today trusting my gut meant taking a run in the middle of a busy workday when the rational side of me would have said “you don’t have time.”  Other days it means ordering take-out because I would rather spend time with my kids than cook.  And sometimes it means letting my kids play on their own because I need to talk to my best friend on the phone.  Being able to trust our guts and act on what they’re telling us takes practice and a few “wins” to show us that it paid off.  Today’s run was one of my wins.

How do you make in-the-moment trade-offs that help you take care of yourself?  When have you succeeded?  Have these trade-offs ever backfired?

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