Posts from the ‘Be’ Category

Hockey Moments

photo by TAZphotos, via flickr creative commons

We went to watch one of the kids’ preschool teachers play hockey last night (yes SHE IS THAT AWESOME), and I was mesmerized by the sounds of ice scraping, the puck smashing into the wall, and the players yelling to one another between labored breaths.  I hadn’t been to a hockey game in a long time, and there was something about the pace of the game – the constant shifting as players went on and off the ice – that felt so “present.”

I think I was particularly struck by this last night because I don’t always feel present in my life right now. My mind skips to work when I’m with my kids and it drifts to my kids when I’m at work.  It meanders to future blog posts when I’m in spin class, and I sometimes check the yoga schedule when I’m mid-conversation with my husband.  Time and thoughts are fluid these days, and as much as I wonder if I’d feel more at peace if they were more carefully delineated, they’re just not right now.  I don’t know if they ever will be.  Despite what productivity experts lead us to believe, life is messy and orderly and crazy and beautiful at the same time.

Watching the players skate across the ice last night made me think that the way to be more present isn’t to be more present in every single moment. That’s just way too much pressure.  But it is about finding the “hockey moments” – the narrow (or broad, if you’re lucky) slices of time where you can be 100% in the moment.  Where you can find your flow and lose track of time “until the bell rings.” For this beautiful teacher, her moments are on the ice.  For a dear friend of mine, it’s when she’s doing crafts with her daughter.  For another friend, it’s cooking a meal.  For me lately, it’s writing these posts and standing on my head (not at the same time).

The more we can find these little micro-moments that help us stay in the now, the more we’ll actually be in the now.  So for me, moving from chaos to presence is about the little things adding up and becoming big things more than it’s about drastic changes or forcing focus.  It’s about starting with the low-hanging fruit and building upon that, moment by moment, day by day, and year by year.

When’s the last time you were truly “in the moment?”  What helps you stay in the present?

20 Things Wellfesto Has Taught Me About Blogging

photo by maria reyes-mcdavies, via flickr creative commons

I’ve been blogging daily for just over four months (this is my 98th post), and people often ask how it’s going.  Knowing that they’re often asking out of politeness, I usually answer with something low-risk and banal like “I’m still really enjoying it.”  Which is a 100% honest answer — I am.  But behind this, there are lots of emotions — elated, uncertain, proud, disappointed, peaceful, anxious, and vulnerable — that I only talk about if someone probes further.

The thing is — no matter what your reasons are for having a blog or any sort of publicly facing platform (and they could be anything from learning to personal growth to sharing with loved ones to wanting to become Oprah)  — it’s really hard to live your life out loud.  With authenticity comes vulnerability, with having a voice comes finding your voice, and with growing comes failing.  So today, on random day 98…still in the dawn on my wellfesto project…here are a few things blogging has taught me thus far…

1. A daily practice is super powerful — it’s sometimes the only “me” time I get all day (even if it’s bleary-eyed “me” time)
2. Having a daily practice means making trade-offs in other parts of life (i.e., I can’t remember the last time I read a fiction book, and my home decor leaves a lot to be desired)
3. The simple act of making something every day is rewarding (just making something…anything)
4. Experience and expertise aren’t the same thing, and it’s important to be clear which hat you’re wearing (or else people will think you’re selling snake oil)
5. Just because you love to do something doesn’t mean it will be your favorite thing to write about (i.e., I love exercise, but I often feel weird writing about it because I’m not coach or personal trainer)
6. People love recipe posts (I guess the food blogosphere is alive and well)
7. It is nearly impossible to write with emotion about things you don’t really care about (duh)
8. It’s easier to talk about accomplishments than failures (but failure is what makes us human)
9. Unless people comment, blogging can feel like a 1-way street, and you need to be OK with that (here’s a hilarious post about comments, btw)
10. It’s weird to broadcast very personal stories to strangers (thus, no sex posts yet)
11. People like pictures as much — or more than — words (after all, we do live in the world of 140-characters + Instagram)
12. Writing is about finding the connection between what you want to write about and what people want to read about (great tip I learned from a famous writer)
13. People want to see the messy, difficult side of life as much as they want to see the clean, beautiful side (hmmm…misery loves company?)
14. Blogging can deepen existing friendships and start new ones (you know who you are)
15. Typos are inevitably (inevitable)
16. Making a commitment out loud helps you stick to it (there is no way I’d write every day if my blog wasn’t public)
17. You can do a lot in 30 uninterrupted minutes (uninterrupted = no email, no social media, no wiping kids’ noses)
18. It helps to have a few posts “in the hopper” for busy days (because some days it’s easier to edit an old post than write a new one)
19. A narrower audience makes it easier to write (stay tuned)
20. It takes a lot of writing to become a writer

So my short answer stands: “I’m still really enjoying it.”  And for now, I’m so very happy with that.

What about you?  If you’re a blogger (newbie or seasoned), what have you learned about yourself or the blogosphere through the process?  What has been hard, and what has been amazing?  

Morning Reading

photo by NS newsflash, via flickr creative commons

My first job out of college was at a PR firm, and I learned lots of lessons that have stuck with me.  I learned that crying at work is more than OK — it reinforces our humanity and can actually build bridges.  I learned to treat clients with “a little more sugar and a little less vinegar,” as my boss freely told me.  I learned that people actually like when you show your true colors.  I learned that bad ideas sometimes lead to the best ideas.  And I learned to always read the morning headlines.

The principals of the firm were emphatic about the importance of never being caught off guard by a client and often asked us about random news events to make sure we’d at least skimmed the main papers that day.  They believed in the value of connecting different areas (health + tech + politics + fashion, etc) in order to generate ideas and deeply understand the societal trends in which our clients’ businesses functioned.  I’ve found this to be true not just in PR, but in every job and any relationship I’ve ever had.  Being in the know helps.  And more importantly, it’s fun and expanding and funny and sad and human.

I love this lesson  because I feel like it’s given me a lifelong license to do something fun and personal (read about mainstream AND weird stuff) in the spirit of work.  Today’s reality is that fun + personal + work are becoming increasingly intertwined, so this now feels more natural than it did 10 years ago.

So how does this look for me?  Simple.  I try to read every morning for 30 minutes or so over breakfast before diving into the day.  I get most of my news via Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn feeds, and I also read a few newsletters that I think have great variety:

• Brainpickings
• Fast Company
• PSFK
• Springwise

How about you?  Do you spend focused time reading every day, and if so, what blogs/newsletters/papers/magazines that you love and couldn’t get through your day without?  

P.S. If you want to justify your social media habit at work, here’s a great article linking social media use and productivity!

Early Bird Gets the Worm?

Today’s Idea: Set your wake-up time and stick to it like glue…7 days a week. 

If you’re wondering if it’s possible to shift your sleep schedule, read on…

I so very desperately want to be a really early riser, and over the years, I’ve tried to convince myself that I am one.  After all, when I actually manage to crawl out of bed before the sun rises, I love it (see my previous post about pre-dawn workouts).  There’s something spectacular about the stillness of the pre-dawn hours, when everyone in the house is peacefully sleeping and the stars are still sparkling outside the window.  And NPR’s Morning Edition at 5am beats a screaming child any day of the week.

But when I’m really honest with myself, I don’t think I fit the “really early riser” bill.  I’ve been getting up super early (5/5:30am) a few times a week for years, and it’s still MASSIVELY PAINFUL every time the alarm goes off.  I want to press snooze every single time, without fail.  This time of year is the hardest, when the spring time change makes darkness persist until the clock strikes seven…which led me to google “is it possible to change your circadian rhythm?” last night.  This search first led me to a slew of articles differentiating early birds + night owls (supposedly early birds are happier and healthier, and night owls are more creative), which were interesting but not particularly helpful because they generally don’t address “really early” (in most studies I read, early birds wake at 7am and night owls wake at 11am, so by their definition, I’m an early bird…just not an early bird by “trying-to-fit-it-all-in” standards).

I did find a good article in the Washington Post, however, which gave me hope that it IS difficult, but definitely possible to change our circadian rhythms.  The article gives a few tips for how to do this, the most relevant one for me being “Set your wake-up time — and then stick to it like glue. Ideally you should get up at the same time every morning, including — gasp! — those precious weekends. If you sleep more than 90 minutes later on a Saturday or Sunday, you will affect your body clock, readjusting it to the later wake-up time just as you have to get up early again Monday morning.”

Aha…I think I may have figured out my problem.  I have always been in a weird cycle of waking early some days and then rewarding myself with sleep on other days.  Thinking about it now, this is sort of like eating a vegan diet two days a week and then gobbling up burgers the other five.  The body’s response: What the F is happening here?!  I’m realizing my focus needs to shift to sustainability (not forever, but for longer than a day or a week).  This then becomes a question of “me time” versus sleep (sometimes the only time I can get me time is before the kids wake up and after they go to sleep)…which then plays into prioritization.  Hmmm…shorter workout, more sleep?  Longer workout, less work?

These are tough choices, but they’re made in service of the fact that sleep is one of my non-negotiables (within reason…I DO have little kids).  And according to The New York Times, if I don’t get at least six hours, I’m more likely to gain weight.  So my current quest is to find a rhythm that I can make a habit….even if it means a 5:30am wake up call every day of the week.  I’ll post again once I’ve actually nailed that rhythm (note: at my current rate, this might be 2020).

How do you make sure you get the sleep you need and get the things done you want and need to?  Have you successfully overcome an allergy to super early rising?  If so, please share your tips!

P.S. If you’re trying to get up earlier than your body wants to, you might want to lessen the blow by checking out this list of the Five Best Alarm Clocks