10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out
Mid-way through a recent group exercise class, the teacher lost me. She didn’t lose me because of some complicated step sequence or insanely long set of burpees; I mentally checked out because of a few words she kept saying over and over. “Come on! Get that body ready for your winter beach vacation! Think about how you want to look at those holiday parties! PICTURE HOW YOU’LL LOOK IN THAT DRESS!”
“THAT DRESS?” My brain couldn’t focus on an image of some random dress hanging in my closet. All I could think about was my three-year-old daughter hearing and trying to process those words.
My daughter’s little brain is making sense of the world every single second, taking in verbal and non-verbal cues about how things work and what things mean. And when it comes to exercise, I want her to grow up seeing it as a joy, and not a utility…as a gift, and not a chore…as an opportunity, not an obligation. I want her to do it for the love of it, not to fit into a dress. I want her to grow up knowing that…
- Strength equals self-sufficiency. Being strong – particularly as a woman – is empowering. It will feel good someday to be able to carry your own luggage down the stairs if the airport escalator is broken, and it will be important to have a solid shot at outrunning a stranger should you meet one a dark alley.
- Fitness opens doors. Being healthy and fit can help you see the world differently. The planet looks different from a bike or a pair of skis than it does from a car or an airplane. Out in the elements you have the time and space to notice details and meet people and remember smells and bugs and mud and rain and the feeling of warm sunshine on your face. And those are the moments that make up your life.
- The bike is the new golf course. Being fit may help you get a seat at the table. Networking is no longer restricted to the golf course, and the stronger you are – and the more people you can hang with on the road and trail – the more people you’ll meet.
- Exercise is a lifestyle, not an event. Being an active person isn’t about taking a class three times a week at the gym. It’s about things like biking to the grocery store and parking your car in the back of the lot and walking instead of taking a cab and catching up with friends on a hiking trail instead of a bar stool.
- Health begets health. Healthy behavior inspires healthy behavior. Exercise. Healthy eating. Solid sleep. Positive relationships. These things are all related.
- Endorphins help you cope. A good sweat session can clear the slate. You will have days when nothing seems to go right…when you’re dizzy with frustration or crying in despair. A workout can often turn things around.
- Working out signals hard-working. The discipline required to work out on a regular basis signals success. Someone recently told me they are way more likely to hire marathon runners and mountain climbers because of the level of commitment that goes into those pursuits.
- If you feel beautiful, you look beautiful. Looking beautiful starts on the inside. And being fit and strong feels beautiful.
- Nature rules. And if you’re able to hike/run/bike/swim/ski/snowshoe, you can see more of it.
- Little eyes are always watching. We learn from each other. You may have a daughter—or a niece or a neighbor or a friend – one day. And that little girl will be watching and listening to everything you say and do. What messages do you want her to hear?
I’ll never talk to my daughter about fitting into THAT DRESS. But I will talk to her about what it sounds like to hear pine needles crunching under my feet and what it feels like to cross a finish line and how special it is to see the world on foot. I will talk to her about hard work and self sufficiency. I will teach her the joy of working out by showing her I love it. And I’ll leave the rest up to her.
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
- Val's Fitness Tip of the Month November 2013
- More reasons to do it! | fitandfun4all
- Our Message | wellfesto
- 10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out | Body Alchemy Aligned
- Weekend Link Love | Fat 2 Fit
- 10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out | Lantanagurl's Rambling Mind
- Five Things Friday | Taking on Life…One Step at a Time
- The Vyne Rewynd: November 29 – December 5 | Vyne World
- Five Things Friday Link Up 12.6.13 - Fitting It All In
wellfesto 
Reblogged this on Dear Diary and commented:
loved it…!!
For the ALL of the reasons you’ve listed is the reason I work daily on my health w/some form of exercise…The more I exercise the more energy I have…Excellent commentary that should be read by ALL women young & older..2 thumbs UP on your write!
Reblogged this on Berna's Vibe~The Way I See IT and commented:
Feminist that I am I’ve got to share this sentiment..Very well expressed write from the ‘Wellfesto Blog’..Re-blogged by Berna. Enjoy!
Reblogged this on whereischarlene.
Great post! I used to teach group fitness myself and I have three daughters now. Would love for them to grow up with a healthy self image and healthy attitude on exercise.
Well said, all of it. Love this: “The planet looks different from a bike or a pair of skis than it does from a car or an airplane. Out in the elements you have the time and space to notice details and meet people and remember smells and bugs and mud and rain and the feeling of warm sunshine on your face. And those are the moments that make up your life.”
Nice work. My daughter is a girly girl, but I want her strong in spirit, mind, and body.
Reblogged this on horses dirt and motherhood and commented:
I read this one and really liked what she said about wanting her daughter to work out not because she looked good but because she FELT good!
I love to bike outside, not just for the health aspect of it, but also for what you mentioned about witnessing first-hand the beauty of nature. And I have tried to instill that in my daughter. We used to go biking and go for walks – stopping to discuss a beautiful sky or a graceful crane – all the time.
Of course as she is a teenager now it is a little harder to get her to want to do those things with me.
I will have to have her read your article, so the next time she comes to me lamenting that she’s “fat”(she’s not, but I imagine she was watching a little too much tv and the “perfect”(as in razor-thin) people highlighted there), she can see that exercise is not about being razor-thin, but being healthy AND enjoying the beauty of God’s green earth(not Minecraft) as well.
Exercise is a lifestyle. I love it! Good points!
This is a great post. I love working out but it was never really something my family did when I was younger. I started working out because I graduated from high school and felt lost without my competitive dancing and the intense sore feeling in my muscles after a difficult class. Through pushing myself and researching ways to live a healthier life style I have learned so much about feeling my best and being my best. pearlsandsass.wordpress.com
Definitely a great post with the proper view on exercise and fitness. The idea of the gym as a utility has become the normal route for our society and it needs to change. Thanks for the blog!
There is a lot of misguidance when it comes to health, especially for women. There is no middle ground. Either the focus is mainly on staying skinny or building so much muscle that you only have 12% body fat – not a good, healthy perspective on both accounts.
This is GREAT…AND it is so true.. Believe in your self and others will to
What a great article! I have tried saying to my friends that fitness is a lifestyle choice, but they just look at me as the mad one that runs, cycles and swims. I have reblogged this on jodiemurrell 🙂
Reblogged this on jodiemurrell and commented:
I had to reblog this post, I think it is a great article on how fitness is a lifestyle choice and not an event. Enjoy the read 🙂
This. Is. Awesome. I would have walked out of that class! Why is it that men can exercise for any number of reasons but women must just want to “look hot”? My husband owns a kettlebell gym where women of all sizes go to get stronger, and he often takes our small daughter with him.
Reblogged this on Eat · Train · Lose and commented:
This has an amazing and healthy messege to anyone that hits the gym. Whether you’re a parent or not, I think we can all take this concept and utilize it ourselves.
Its only when you have lost your health even for a short time that you begin to appreciate it. Its wonderful to be able to exercise/move -without pain. fantastic to be able to eat anything with out after-affects. Its brilliant to have sight and hearing to admire nature. So yes get out there and enjoy while you can. Keep healthy, it is your life.
Yes, every moment is a gift. Thank you for sharing this.
I really enjoyed reading this! I have a 10 month old, so we’re a little ways away from actual conversations, but you have great insight in how I can speak to my daughter about an active lifestyle.
Reblogged this on woman problems, guy problems and any questions or advice needed and commented:
This should be a must .. No woman should ever talk this way …. Pssst
Absolutely love every single part of this post!
Great perspective. It’s funny how when confronted with a lie, you get a clearer sense of the truth.
While I appreciate most of your article you lose me when you list reasons like to appear hardworking of to network to get ahead in business. That idea is as foreign to me as “that dress”. I do it for me and for life and health and feeling good. I do not move my body to impress others whether it is how I look in “that dress” or to people in the business.
I just absolutely love this!! It perfectly sums up how I feel about fitness and exercise. I couldn’t have said it better myself, and I’m looking forward to instilling this healthy mentality in my soon-to-be-born daughter:) …and fitting into that dress and looking great in a bikini are awesome bonuses;)
Reblogged this on The CBJ Music Weblog and commented:
Fantastic article…NOT just for girls/women!
Reblogged this on The Big Sister's Guide to Owning It! and commented:
Love this!
Loved it! I would, however, add a few other very important things: have her learn good behavior from the way you treat others, to be kind to others who have known very little kindness and real caring and to learn how very important compassion is. As a trailer…to have good manners and integrity are equally as important, in relationships and in general.
All very important messages…thank you!
I needed to hear this myself. Thank you for sharing!
Beautiful message. I hope I can share the same lessons with my niece as she grows. 🙂
This is amazing. 🙂
I absolutely love this! This is so true! These are the things everyone needs to realize. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this post. I am not a mother yet and I think mine did an amazing job but sometimes I look at the way most people, are taught how to think and feel about food and exercise at a young age, it makes me sad. I hope that when I do have children I can introduce them to these parts of life without warping the warping them into something negative and unhappy.
Working out for the sake of fitting into THAT DRESS, is a frustrating and sometimes devastating motivation.
Reblogged this on bowerbirdgk and commented:
THIS is how I view exercise. If you have the opportunity, get out and enjoy it! … Says me from behind my computer screen.
Reblogged this on Pinch me,.
This is really really really inspiring. I agree with every word. Thank you so much for this!
This is the most inspiring article I’ve ever read. That’s no joke….it’s very Jerry McGuire in an uber-fitness/traveler/nature enthusiast sort of way; and it fits right in with the mantra I have for my well-being, which precludes that I never stop physically challenging myself. Thank you, Brynn.
Wow, thanks so much for the kind words.
I’m just trying to get healthy and learn to exercise. This is a good motivating article for me. I love it. Thank you.
Great words! I’ve often wondered how I’d tackle this topic as a mother. My mum used to talk about her butt being big and I can say it’s been hard not to do the same and I’ve failed many a time. I’d hate for my children to hear me speaking about my body in a negative way. The buck stops here on negative body image! Thanks for your post. Sarah.
This is a great list of things that little girls & guys should know. “Healthy begets Healthy” is my favorite.
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What a refreshing look at exercise! These are things I ought to remind myself about exercise often. I especially identify with the part about endorphins. When I was mistakenly diagnosed with MS 5 years back, the doctor gave me only one useful piece of advice- keep working out. And boy, did it do wonders! Not only did I get a high knowing I was still healthy, it gave me the strength to prove to everyone around that it was the WRONG diagnosis
Wow – awesome story! Thanks for sharing; I’m so glad you are feeling great!