10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out
Mid-way through a recent group exercise class, the teacher lost me. She didn’t lose me because of some complicated step sequence or insanely long set of burpees; I mentally checked out because of a few words she kept saying over and over. “Come on! Get that body ready for your winter beach vacation! Think about how you want to look at those holiday parties! PICTURE HOW YOU’LL LOOK IN THAT DRESS!”
“THAT DRESS?” My brain couldn’t focus on an image of some random dress hanging in my closet. All I could think about was my three-year-old daughter hearing and trying to process those words.
My daughter’s little brain is making sense of the world every single second, taking in verbal and non-verbal cues about how things work and what things mean. And when it comes to exercise, I want her to grow up seeing it as a joy, and not a utility…as a gift, and not a chore…as an opportunity, not an obligation. I want her to do it for the love of it, not to fit into a dress. I want her to grow up knowing that…
- Strength equals self-sufficiency. Being strong – particularly as a woman – is empowering. It will feel good someday to be able to carry your own luggage down the stairs if the airport escalator is broken, and it will be important to have a solid shot at outrunning a stranger should you meet one a dark alley.
- Fitness opens doors. Being healthy and fit can help you see the world differently. The planet looks different from a bike or a pair of skis than it does from a car or an airplane. Out in the elements you have the time and space to notice details and meet people and remember smells and bugs and mud and rain and the feeling of warm sunshine on your face. And those are the moments that make up your life.
- The bike is the new golf course. Being fit may help you get a seat at the table. Networking is no longer restricted to the golf course, and the stronger you are – and the more people you can hang with on the road and trail – the more people you’ll meet.
- Exercise is a lifestyle, not an event. Being an active person isn’t about taking a class three times a week at the gym. It’s about things like biking to the grocery store and parking your car in the back of the lot and walking instead of taking a cab and catching up with friends on a hiking trail instead of a bar stool.
- Health begets health. Healthy behavior inspires healthy behavior. Exercise. Healthy eating. Solid sleep. Positive relationships. These things are all related.
- Endorphins help you cope. A good sweat session can clear the slate. You will have days when nothing seems to go right…when you’re dizzy with frustration or crying in despair. A workout can often turn things around.
- Working out signals hard-working. The discipline required to work out on a regular basis signals success. Someone recently told me they are way more likely to hire marathon runners and mountain climbers because of the level of commitment that goes into those pursuits.
- If you feel beautiful, you look beautiful. Looking beautiful starts on the inside. And being fit and strong feels beautiful.
- Nature rules. And if you’re able to hike/run/bike/swim/ski/snowshoe, you can see more of it.
- Little eyes are always watching. We learn from each other. You may have a daughter—or a niece or a neighbor or a friend – one day. And that little girl will be watching and listening to everything you say and do. What messages do you want her to hear?
I’ll never talk to my daughter about fitting into THAT DRESS. But I will talk to her about what it sounds like to hear pine needles crunching under my feet and what it feels like to cross a finish line and how special it is to see the world on foot. I will talk to her about hard work and self sufficiency. I will teach her the joy of working out by showing her I love it. And I’ll leave the rest up to her.
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
- Friday Finisher 12/6/13 | Strength and Sunshine
- #WODsohard | Friday, December 6, 2013
- Friday 5! | Fit Running Mama
- Friday Round-Up: December 6, 2013 –
- Health Fair Video and Friday Favorites | Fitness & Feta
- Fascinating Friday Links #15 | Daily Moves and Grooves
- Christmas Traditions Everyday in Switzerland~ Friday Roundup | Moxiblog
- Fun Things To Read On A Friday
- Five Things Friday 12.06.13 | live every week like it's shark week
- Fantastic Fridays | My Wise Mom
- Weekly News, Dec. 6th
- Friday Funday Links | Real Life Athena
- The Weekly Stoke: Adventure in Afghanistan, Grand Canyon goals, Chris McCandless photos and uncommon courage on Mount Everest | proactiveoutside
- 12/7/13 A WOD for Home or Gym…the weather decides!!! | CrossFit Sonora
- Par’s Picks – 9 | myinnershakti
- reading list, volume 20.
- The Weekly Burn: Forever Young - Life by DailyBurn
- My Own Hunger Game | Are you motivated? What by?
- The Scattered Life Collective » The Path Less Taken
- 10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out | Novel Gobblers Book Club
- A great article from wellfesto.com |
- Strong? Yes. Superior? No. | Let Her Eat Dirt
- I couldn’t have said it better myself… | my personal coffee break
wellfesto 
Reblogged this on Tahsin Thoughts and commented:
Loved It! An Article that looks past the superficiality we are taught about exercise and fitness!
Loved it! Totally reblogged this! I keep a general blog but I also have written and will continue to write about fitness as a great hobby 🙂
Holy overreaction batman!
I had no idea that mommy bloggers were so nonsensical and illogical.
First things first, the gym is a place for adults, ‘grown ups’ if you will. Something said to a room full of adults cannot magically transfer from your brain at the gym to your toddlers at home. That’s just science, and what I previously thought was common sense.
Second, most people sign up for the gym with a weight loss goal, and fitting into old clothes is not only a great way to measure how far you’ve come but to literally feel your accomplishment. I swear the way you wrote this I would have thought that the gym coach came up to you, ripped the wallet out of your purse, flipped it to a picture of your daughter and the called her fat and lazy in front of everyone. According to your own story no one mentioned your daughter, no one ever implied that what was said was meant to be repeated to your 3 yr old or any child for that matter. Yet you go out of your way to bash a coach who is motivating her class?!
Did you ever think that maybe someone, or several people are quite literally there to lose weight and fit into a dress, just for their own personal goal? Not to impress anyone but themselves, but just to reach that size they want to be. The article has a few decent points but honestly you have got to be one of the most self centered people I’ve ever read. Taking something said to a group in a gym class and twisting it in some nonsensical way to somehow apply to your 3 yr old.
Actually it is not an overreaction. Things said, written, published in a roomful of adults, in magazines, on tv, are indications of larger sentiment. We, collectively, make up larger sentiments, and in turn are shaped by it. Obsession with, and over-valuation of women’s appearance, is becoming a public health issue, not just in the US, but world-wide.
While there is nothing wrong with weight loss goals, and working out to achieve it, weight loss is generally harder to achieve, and definitely harder to maintain, once achieved, when it is the sole goal. The goal of living a fit life, however, less glamorous, is more conducive to changes in life-long habits, that will get one to the right weight, and maintain it.
Neil, You don’t have to worry about being encouraged to fit into a dress..so keep your thoughts to yourself….gosh, guys sure like to get into our business. Get out and rake your dad’s leaves! Do something productive rather than rag on us! Talk about self-centered..you are not being kind at all…look at yourself and your acid comments…not nice. Grow up, be responsible, and kind. Making a woman feel bad about how she looks is not nice, either, no matter how you slice it. So, begin being kind…and understanding that lowering someone’s self-esteem is never a good thing. I am talking about suggesting that anyone won’t fit into a dress. Honey draws bees…not a big stick!
Wow, it is obvious that Neil is coming from a male perspective. Thanks for sharing Neil, but I think you have mistaken an well thought out piece of writing as “female bitching and overreaction.” As the mother of a now 23-year-old daughter, I found this to be an excellent article about the difference between working out for my own sense of well being versus working out to please others or so that others will like how I look. There’s a difference.
Oh I can so relate to checking out of fitness classes mentally because of comments like that! I hate when instructors make it about burning off what we will or did eat over the holidays. Or about looking good for bikini season. I already have that shit in my head and don’t need anyone else saying it!!! Once I was doing a Physique57 video and the instructor said “your 6 pack abs are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow”. Um REALLY? I almost turned it off! Your daughter is lucky to have a mom like you
Reblogged this on perfectartofchaos and commented:
Exercising is not another thing to do to! it is a way of life!
#4 is the best. I love a good visit but I would rather go for a walk to chat rather than sip coffee in my kitchen.
Reblogged this on Hungry Running Girl and commented:
About Exercise. Worth repeating.
This is great i wish my mother would have told me that when i was younger
Language affects us more than we realize. I remember being told so often as a child to “sit like a lady” suggesting that everything I did was wrong. It was a simple request with harmless intentions but as bugged me ever since.
Speaking the truth and so well worded! Thank you
It is v Nice Not only myDaughter but the entire family Enjoyed it
Keep Posting
Regards
This post really struck a chord with me. Being the mother of a KAIA student, albeit one who lives on the East Coast while her daughter resides on the West Coast, has shown ME how much the KAIA discipline has been for my daughter! I am so very, very proud of the strength and commitment to the program and life itself she has shown me in the past few months, I only wish I could join her daily in her conquests!
I always liked just using my body for all the reasons stated aove and just to challenge it. It feels good. I have gotten so far away from that and also now have physical issues that get in the way of using it the way I used tobut I do what I can. The hardest part for me now is I have to restrict when I feel I can do more but at least I temporarily have to listen to the experts and this willget it back in the long run.
Thank you for this! I agree whole-heatedly–and many of these items O need to remind myself
Reblogged this on elblogdelchucheta.
Reblogged this on Question Everything.
Just the inspiration I needed. Thank you.
Beautiful! I really enjoyed reading this. Your daughter is extremely lucky to have a mother that views life in this way. You are an inspiration!
Excellent points! They all apply to boys too. We need them to hear the message that it’s not all about how they look either.
Reblogged this on Heather Ashley Smith.
I loved your list and thinking—it has to be a lifestyle choice. I am working on that one myself. All key important factors get down to getting them into our lifestyle so there is no having to think about it.
Amazing! Just opened up my eyes. Thank you!
Love it! I feel like society only talks about “loving you the way you are,” which is great and all, but we also need to teach the next generation to not only love yourself but try to better yourself and take care of your self! Thanks for sharing!
Reblogged this on The Cat and The Beard.
Reblogged this on Me Being Me Being Free and commented:
These are awesome words to share with a child about a message that goes too often unvoiced, unheard, and unappreciated. It does not have to be my child, but all children who should know that health and well-being should not be taken lightly. A positive mind and a positive body can open the right doors and keep them open.
This is great!
I love being healthy and riding my bike but I have so many friends who just don’t get it. They ask me how I do it, or how I stay motivated. Its a lifestyle.
Why didn’t they teach those 10 things in gym class??? or earlier!
Good writings. I definitely need the extra motivation. keep moving forward.
Mr.MakingUsmile