10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out
Mid-way through a recent group exercise class, the teacher lost me. She didn’t lose me because of some complicated step sequence or insanely long set of burpees; I mentally checked out because of a few words she kept saying over and over. “Come on! Get that body ready for your winter beach vacation! Think about how you want to look at those holiday parties! PICTURE HOW YOU’LL LOOK IN THAT DRESS!”
“THAT DRESS?” My brain couldn’t focus on an image of some random dress hanging in my closet. All I could think about was my three-year-old daughter hearing and trying to process those words.
My daughter’s little brain is making sense of the world every single second, taking in verbal and non-verbal cues about how things work and what things mean. And when it comes to exercise, I want her to grow up seeing it as a joy, and not a utility…as a gift, and not a chore…as an opportunity, not an obligation. I want her to do it for the love of it, not to fit into a dress. I want her to grow up knowing that…
- Strength equals self-sufficiency. Being strong – particularly as a woman – is empowering. It will feel good someday to be able to carry your own luggage down the stairs if the airport escalator is broken, and it will be important to have a solid shot at outrunning a stranger should you meet one a dark alley.
- Fitness opens doors. Being healthy and fit can help you see the world differently. The planet looks different from a bike or a pair of skis than it does from a car or an airplane. Out in the elements you have the time and space to notice details and meet people and remember smells and bugs and mud and rain and the feeling of warm sunshine on your face. And those are the moments that make up your life.
- The bike is the new golf course. Being fit may help you get a seat at the table. Networking is no longer restricted to the golf course, and the stronger you are – and the more people you can hang with on the road and trail – the more people you’ll meet.
- Exercise is a lifestyle, not an event. Being an active person isn’t about taking a class three times a week at the gym. It’s about things like biking to the grocery store and parking your car in the back of the lot and walking instead of taking a cab and catching up with friends on a hiking trail instead of a bar stool.
- Health begets health. Healthy behavior inspires healthy behavior. Exercise. Healthy eating. Solid sleep. Positive relationships. These things are all related.
- Endorphins help you cope. A good sweat session can clear the slate. You will have days when nothing seems to go right…when you’re dizzy with frustration or crying in despair. A workout can often turn things around.
- Working out signals hard-working. The discipline required to work out on a regular basis signals success. Someone recently told me they are way more likely to hire marathon runners and mountain climbers because of the level of commitment that goes into those pursuits.
- If you feel beautiful, you look beautiful. Looking beautiful starts on the inside. And being fit and strong feels beautiful.
- Nature rules. And if you’re able to hike/run/bike/swim/ski/snowshoe, you can see more of it.
- Little eyes are always watching. We learn from each other. You may have a daughter—or a niece or a neighbor or a friend – one day. And that little girl will be watching and listening to everything you say and do. What messages do you want her to hear?
I’ll never talk to my daughter about fitting into THAT DRESS. But I will talk to her about what it sounds like to hear pine needles crunching under my feet and what it feels like to cross a finish line and how special it is to see the world on foot. I will talk to her about hard work and self sufficiency. I will teach her the joy of working out by showing her I love it. And I’ll leave the rest up to her.
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
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wellfesto 
Hi…loved this blog post , if ok with you can I re-blog this on my blog http://pilotingmylife.wordpress.com/. Would love to have you as a guest blogger.
Yes, thanks for the re-post! Glad you liked this piece!
Can you do guest entry on “Finding motivation to Workout”
I loved this post and wanted to let you know that I’m blogging a link to this tomorrow at http://cglorioso.blogspot.com.
Reblogged this on Piloting My Life and commented:
For all the women beginning to work out
This is absolutely wonderful! Thanks for the fatherly wisdom.
stylequeery.com
This is absolutely inspirational. Thanks so much for posting it!
I really appreciate this post ! Thank you(:
I love this and totally agree with what you said.
This is fantastic. Thank you for this post. Very true, and inspiring.
Please also remember that there is no such thing as retirement due to age. At 75, I participate in challenging core training classes and I do yoga three times each week This is an excellent way to keep mentally and physically strong. Yes, I do love the way I look and feel.
E.P.K.
I have a daughter and I want to empower her to reach her dreams! Amazing article with many points I have wanted to guide her with in life! Thanks for sharing!
Amazing and Inspiring- thank you for the positive thoughts! Its refreshing to hear a male figure giving his daughter healthy expectations in a world that has so many negative ones. There should be more men like you in the world! . Matthew Johnson
Be careful what you do. Children will listen and children will see!
thanks, I needed a wholeness reason to continue to work out, other than the thought of wearing a new dress!!! I inspire to be as fit as my daughter, and I have the opposite understanding of how this works for me from a younger generation to my older generation!!!
~hearts aFire,
Candace
Reblogged this on Blueberry Creek Crafts and commented:
I love this post. It is so true and such good advice for my daughters. Be fit! Be strong! Be well!
Reblogged this on Fresh, Fit, and Fancy and commented:
This is one of the most inspiring, true from the heart posts I have read in a long time. Hitting every note in my heart perfectly on key, it is everything I feel about health and exercise put into perfect words. Worth a read! Or two…okay maybe I read it 3 times. Or more. 😉
Really liked this post! Especially the pine needles needles bit – hiking out in nature is so much nicer than being stuck on a gym machine! Lucy x
Great post! It prompted me to write my own about how problematic the ways in which exercise is sold to us had become. Thanks for the inspiration!
http://www.onthelongrun.com/1/post/2013/12/body-language.html
Great points! It’s such a shame that something as natural and helpful as exercising our bodies has become something we use to punish ourselves. Someday when I have a child I look forward to sharing the same joy for movement with them.
Amen sister.
Beautifully said. I have sons but I feel everything you said applies.
I have been out of my exercise mojo for awhile, too long. Your post motivates me.
So glad to hear that, Amy! Thanks for your comment!
Beautiful inspiration , thank you for the reminder .
Reblogged this on Dance love peace.
Please also remember that the discovery of health and fitness does not begin at the same place for all people.
For some, a dress (especially a graduation dress, a wedding dress or a reunion dress!) is very real motivation, a tangible goal they can focus on in order to achieve a feeling of accomplishment and then EVENTUALLY reach the insight you share.
“That dress” is another way of saying your own Number 8… I understand what you are trying to say to your daughter, and I applaud you for it, but as a mom of 2 teenage girls I can tell you that they will also find that they feel beautiful when they look beautiful, and to deny them that could saddle them with shame and guilt for that feeling which could instead be the feeling that builds their confidence just enough to spur the actions and activities that we hope will build confidence on a more solid foundation. Feeling beautiful because we look beautiful gives us confidence to approach strangers and build relationships of all kinds, relationships which will hopefully reciprocate by building real confidence in our abilities as well as our looks. It is often a justifiable means to an end.
Your daughter is very lucky to have you, a mom who is so beautifully self-aware and self-capable, but not all women in that class had you for a mom.
As a group X instructor I can tell you that we need to be able to motivate all attendees, whatever their backgrounds and wherever they are in their fitness journey, and although it doesn’t sound like it from your article, I do hope the instructor you speak of ALSO pushed you to find the inner strength you needed to push through your momentary discomfort, encouraged you that you were going to be ok because you were all in it together, spoke to the benefits of getting a tough job done, explained the science behind what you were doing for your body and whatever else may appeal to or motivate a large group of individuals with different – but not incorrect – personalities and personal reasons for being there. And if a dress was on that list of personal reasons, that’s ok, too.
Alli – Thank you for this thoughtful comment. I agree with everything you say. Achieving a goal is an empowering thing, and I think that can definitely be part of the picture. But I’d like to see us as a society start talking about the joy of the process first, showing that with hard work, great results and rewards will come. I am very lucky and was raised in a family that taught me to love the outdoors; I think some of this was hard-wired as well. I understand that people navigate this path in all sorts of ways, and I applaud you for giving people a range of motivations that speak to where they are in their journey. Be well!
As a mom of a teenager, and a physical therapist for 20 years, my thoughts on the intrinsic benefits of fitness were eloquently expressed in your article. As for “the dress” motivation, the comments above is quite correct that fitting in to a (smaller) dress could be a personal reason, but might not be the healthiest message for the whole class . It is more likely to have the result of negative thoughts popping into the heads of others in the class, instead of the motivations based on inner strength, body strength, and the beauty of money event itself.
There is more than one size dress. Buy the one that fits you!
Every child should be told about your thoughts. Or else video games and television would achieve world domination. Not that they are not entertaining and educational, but nothing can be compared to the real thing. I guess a balance of both may be the best solution for a world where obesity rates are constantly increasing.
http://mybeautifullife96.wordpress.com
Beautifully written article! Thanks for posting!
Reblogged this on headtotoehealth83 and commented:
Check out this inspiring article!
BALANCE is the KEY. . . . learning and practicing.
Thank you for a great post. I have two daughters and my wife shared your post with me.
Reblogged this on kwahtgrl and commented:
Precisely why I am getting more determined to get myself off my butt more these days! LOLs
Yes, this resonated with me greatly. I hope to attain the fitness and guts to try adventure hike/trek overseas one day, some day. Lols
This is fantastic! This list is everything I am trying to share with my two young daugthers (3.5yrs and 1 yr). While on maternity leave with my second baby, our first daughter thought my job was to run…since I run a lot. Instilling good values and sharing a lifestyle of activities has been my motto! Thanks for this post.
Reblogged this on snowmanpjslover and commented:
I wish my father can tell me this.