10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out
Mid-way through a recent group exercise class, the teacher lost me. She didn’t lose me because of some complicated step sequence or insanely long set of burpees; I mentally checked out because of a few words she kept saying over and over. “Come on! Get that body ready for your winter beach vacation! Think about how you want to look at those holiday parties! PICTURE HOW YOU’LL LOOK IN THAT DRESS!”
“THAT DRESS?” My brain couldn’t focus on an image of some random dress hanging in my closet. All I could think about was my three-year-old daughter hearing and trying to process those words.
My daughter’s little brain is making sense of the world every single second, taking in verbal and non-verbal cues about how things work and what things mean. And when it comes to exercise, I want her to grow up seeing it as a joy, and not a utility…as a gift, and not a chore…as an opportunity, not an obligation. I want her to do it for the love of it, not to fit into a dress. I want her to grow up knowing that…
- Strength equals self-sufficiency. Being strong – particularly as a woman – is empowering. It will feel good someday to be able to carry your own luggage down the stairs if the airport escalator is broken, and it will be important to have a solid shot at outrunning a stranger should you meet one a dark alley.
- Fitness opens doors. Being healthy and fit can help you see the world differently. The planet looks different from a bike or a pair of skis than it does from a car or an airplane. Out in the elements you have the time and space to notice details and meet people and remember smells and bugs and mud and rain and the feeling of warm sunshine on your face. And those are the moments that make up your life.
- The bike is the new golf course. Being fit may help you get a seat at the table. Networking is no longer restricted to the golf course, and the stronger you are – and the more people you can hang with on the road and trail – the more people you’ll meet.
- Exercise is a lifestyle, not an event. Being an active person isn’t about taking a class three times a week at the gym. It’s about things like biking to the grocery store and parking your car in the back of the lot and walking instead of taking a cab and catching up with friends on a hiking trail instead of a bar stool.
- Health begets health. Healthy behavior inspires healthy behavior. Exercise. Healthy eating. Solid sleep. Positive relationships. These things are all related.
- Endorphins help you cope. A good sweat session can clear the slate. You will have days when nothing seems to go right…when you’re dizzy with frustration or crying in despair. A workout can often turn things around.
- Working out signals hard-working. The discipline required to work out on a regular basis signals success. Someone recently told me they are way more likely to hire marathon runners and mountain climbers because of the level of commitment that goes into those pursuits.
- If you feel beautiful, you look beautiful. Looking beautiful starts on the inside. And being fit and strong feels beautiful.
- Nature rules. And if you’re able to hike/run/bike/swim/ski/snowshoe, you can see more of it.
- Little eyes are always watching. We learn from each other. You may have a daughter—or a niece or a neighbor or a friend – one day. And that little girl will be watching and listening to everything you say and do. What messages do you want her to hear?
I’ll never talk to my daughter about fitting into THAT DRESS. But I will talk to her about what it sounds like to hear pine needles crunching under my feet and what it feels like to cross a finish line and how special it is to see the world on foot. I will talk to her about hard work and self sufficiency. I will teach her the joy of working out by showing her I love it. And I’ll leave the rest up to her.
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
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- Get More Fun From Your Outdoor Recreation –
- {good reads} december 13th edition | this glorious maze
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- For The Love of Pasta | Skiis & Biikes Blog
- Tuesday, June 24, 2014 | Viking CrossFitViking CrossFit
- 10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out | Lo & Lil
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- What motivates you to work out? | FITips
- On Fitness… | staceyinkorea
wellfesto 
I love this article. THANK YOU!
Reblogged this on boomdava and commented:
Beautiful! This is exactly how I feel about exercise. You can do anything!
Awesome @boomdava. Thanks so much for the re-blog!
Reblogged this on Jake Kuyser and commented:
This is a great way to look at why it’s good to work out. 🙂
Reblogged this on Back to Health Clinic and commented:
We love this! It’s so true that girls who are involved in sports and are active suffer from less depression, are more confident, are more likely to leave a bad relationship and less likely to use drugs. Life is better when you spend it doing things you love.
I really liked this article until I got to number 8, which sounds a whole lot like everything we rallied against in the opening. Lots of different things feel and look beautiful to different people. Being fit and strong feels like different things to different people.
I love this. Perfectly said. Your daughter is blessed to have you.
Amazing wisdom.
Reblogged this on Avant-garde Coach and commented:
Here’s a Mom that knows the meaning of love, inspiration and unconditional love.
“That Dress” could be seen as whatever is motivating you to get healthier but it is not… Note the word “Healthier” not thinner…. This is the distinction I want to pass on, not just to my kids but to anyone unhappy with their appearance.
If you are unhappy with what you see in the mirror or with the fact you can’t walk uphill without killing yourself (physically AND emotionally!), then do whatever it takes to change it. Now.
The problem I found trying to start that journey is “That Dress” that everyone was telling me about. No body mentioned that I needed to be motivated for the soul reason to look better, I knew it was not, but no body tells you that your mind will feel better, you become more emotionally stable and mentally stronger. No body told me that.
No body told any one else that either it seems as I kept getting stared at for using gym equipment without the prerequisite muscle definition, stared at for walking up stairs instead of using the lift, stared at for buying clothes to work out in…. HOW THE HELL DO I GET MYSELF POSITIVE AND MOTIVATED IF THERE ARE HATERS EVERYWHERE???! The answer? Not to give a damn about anything but your health. Sweat, groan, eat and work yourself healthy….. it is so so worth it. Trust me…. my biggest I was 117kg… now 72kg and the best thing is how I feel inside. The numbers mean nothing compared to my self esteem lift… Dress size is irrelevant!
It was hard to get mentally motivated, and it is so hard when all most of society focuses on is how you look and to have a literal “Dress” to get into… If you do, that’s awesome, but maybe focus also on the benefits you feel on the inside….
For my Kids it will be about being happy with what you see and feel, and not being afraid to change if you need to. Be who you are, no compromises, no fear.
It will happen if you make it happen.
xoxoxoxoxo
my family and i used to live in a small country town with a fitness studio in a finished apartment above a garage. we took great joy at listening to the instructor while we played catch with the boys or worked on the garden. “Those people are paying for the same exercise we are getting for free!” my young son would say…seriously! If a small child can see the world for what it is…why do we as adults struggle? Thank you for stating the obvious…outdoors we must go!
I really liked this article because although I struggle to keep fit…I keep struggling along–and am happy to be committed to do so. However Point 7 bothered me. I work for a woman marathoner and I find although she is hard working and dedicated she is not a good boss. She has no empathy for her workers (who are ALSO hard workers although they get low pay and have wide behinds). Basically an elite athlete who participates in a solo sport does not necessarily translate to good TEAM dynamics which is necessary in the work environment. If her bosses don’t mind results from narcissistic bullying vs. teamwork, then shame on them.
#7 bothered me too.
Being a marathon runner does not mean that one is cut out for the hard work/dedication that is required to be an effective manager, or developer, or chef, or whatever. It merely means that the person in question has found a thing that they love and they are dedicated to it—specifically. That’s like saying that a marathon runner would make a great violinist. Both take tremendous work and dedication…but if the person doesn’t truly love it then it’s just not going to happen.
this is so enlightening, thank you for writing.
You will not only feel great, you will have an enormous influence on the people around you also. At every stage of a child’s growth, good oral hygiene can and should be encouraged.
Any suggestions for exercise to take off pounds put on from medicine?
A good friend of mine posted this on my FB page….she did so, I’m certain, because I have shared with her the same experience of shutting off during a yoga class after similar comments were made…I understand that people have different motivations to exercise but what you point to here are the ones that are deep and soul-centered. Being motivated to achieve a smaller figure is a fleeting, externally-focused experience. Exercising to feel good, stronger, and create more opportunities is a sustainable lifestyle choice. I am grateful you put into words what I have felt so deeply.
Thanks for this heartfelt comment, Susan. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Be well!
Great website. Lots of helpful information here.
I’m sending it to several pals ans also sharing in
delicious. And obviously, thank you to your effort!
Reblogged this on Zoe Says and commented:
This is so wonderfully written and on point. Personally, I have never been motivated by “that dress” or a bikini, etc. I wish I’d been exposed to this kind of example as a kid. Read. Learn. Share. Do.
I found this beautifully written, and the entire time I was mentally shouting, “Yes! That! Exactly!” I am a reasonably strong but overweight farmer. The type of work I do on farm tends to be the muscle-strain sort. In September I started running (well, more walking than running for awhile. I am getting better).
I never thought I would love running. The way it makes me feel, even slogging through the snow, is incredible. I am losing weight, getting stronger, I am getting sick less.
Working out is AWESOME.
Thanks for the comment. Yup, that sums it up — working out is AWESOME. Be well!
Reblogged this on lokyrastone.
Hey! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate!
He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this page to him.
Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!
I really like this list but I would say – this is important for sons and daughters. Boys learn negative messages too (if we do not model these ideals appropriately) and that creates internal body image issues and issues about how they see women. Teaching our sons about health and taking care of ourselves sets them up to be strong, amazing men too. 🙂 Thank you for this inspiration.
Reblogged this on Leaping Lizard Cosplay and commented:
An excellent article! Give it a quick read, and do something good for you today.
What is so wrong with wanting to look good, in addition to all of the obvious health benefits? I work out first, because I do not want diabetes, high blood pressure, and a plethora of other health issues that plague my family. Second, because I struggle with my weight. Eating healthily and exercising helps me to keep it somewhat in check. Third, because I have a very physical job (health and fitness professor at a college), and I have to be stronger than my students. But, when someone looks at me and says, “I can tell you work out,” that is gold to me!
As others have said, please remember our young sons too- that they also learn to appreciate the value of health regardless of whether they are the fastest, tallest, strongest; that they learn there are many ways to exercise whether it is competitive, contact sports, hiking, etc; that they learn there are so many options and that physical exercise can be fun and enjoyable not just a competition (especially for the boys that don’t get picked first, that duck when the ball comes at them, that struggle to keep up in a race…).
Reblogged this on One Fit Mother and commented:
I was working on a blog about what I want my daughter to know about fitness…and then I googled to see what else was out there. Turns out this awesome mom already said it best…
(I would only add:
Invest in a decent sports bra, make sure your tights aren’t see through and wear sunscreen.)
Happy Friday and enjoy!!
It is such a great piece if advice! Kudos fir sharing
This is marvelous..not just words of wisdom for daughters…but all genders young and old.. Have a special place in my heart for #9!
Thanks, Stacey. So glad you liked this. And yes on #9!
Reblogged this on TeachTrainTravel and commented:
What an amazing article! It so easy to lose focus on what’s really important and what we should be focusing on (especially as women) in regards to our strength and health! A good message to women everywhere.
Great article! I shared on my Facebook page Be Healthy Within. I am a firm believer that we need to lead by example as action speak louder than words
Reblogged this on Liza Poskin and commented:
Here is an important lesson that is often miss-communicated. Becoming healthy and wanting to sustain your health is a lifestyle and is beneficial for reasons much more important than wanting to look good in “that dress.”
Great article. I wish there was a PIN option.
Couldn’t say it better myself…I’m a physical therapist, have a 3 y/o daughter and this is exactly what I want her to know
I hope the gym teacher reads this and stops her abusive language. Others might not see it as abusive but she’s literally calling your undesired weight as fat for not fitting on /that dress/. If she hasn’t read the article, please show her or point out her wrong way of encouragement to make her right.
Thank you for being a great mom.
Reblogged this on sarahwbiggs.