10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out
Mid-way through a recent group exercise class, the teacher lost me. She didn’t lose me because of some complicated step sequence or insanely long set of burpees; I mentally checked out because of a few words she kept saying over and over. “Come on! Get that body ready for your winter beach vacation! Think about how you want to look at those holiday parties! PICTURE HOW YOU’LL LOOK IN THAT DRESS!”
“THAT DRESS?” My brain couldn’t focus on an image of some random dress hanging in my closet. All I could think about was my three-year-old daughter hearing and trying to process those words.
My daughter’s little brain is making sense of the world every single second, taking in verbal and non-verbal cues about how things work and what things mean. And when it comes to exercise, I want her to grow up seeing it as a joy, and not a utility…as a gift, and not a chore…as an opportunity, not an obligation. I want her to do it for the love of it, not to fit into a dress. I want her to grow up knowing that…
- Strength equals self-sufficiency. Being strong – particularly as a woman – is empowering. It will feel good someday to be able to carry your own luggage down the stairs if the airport escalator is broken, and it will be important to have a solid shot at outrunning a stranger should you meet one a dark alley.
- Fitness opens doors. Being healthy and fit can help you see the world differently. The planet looks different from a bike or a pair of skis than it does from a car or an airplane. Out in the elements you have the time and space to notice details and meet people and remember smells and bugs and mud and rain and the feeling of warm sunshine on your face. And those are the moments that make up your life.
- The bike is the new golf course. Being fit may help you get a seat at the table. Networking is no longer restricted to the golf course, and the stronger you are – and the more people you can hang with on the road and trail – the more people you’ll meet.
- Exercise is a lifestyle, not an event. Being an active person isn’t about taking a class three times a week at the gym. It’s about things like biking to the grocery store and parking your car in the back of the lot and walking instead of taking a cab and catching up with friends on a hiking trail instead of a bar stool.
- Health begets health. Healthy behavior inspires healthy behavior. Exercise. Healthy eating. Solid sleep. Positive relationships. These things are all related.
- Endorphins help you cope. A good sweat session can clear the slate. You will have days when nothing seems to go right…when you’re dizzy with frustration or crying in despair. A workout can often turn things around.
- Working out signals hard-working. The discipline required to work out on a regular basis signals success. Someone recently told me they are way more likely to hire marathon runners and mountain climbers because of the level of commitment that goes into those pursuits.
- If you feel beautiful, you look beautiful. Looking beautiful starts on the inside. And being fit and strong feels beautiful.
- Nature rules. And if you’re able to hike/run/bike/swim/ski/snowshoe, you can see more of it.
- Little eyes are always watching. We learn from each other. You may have a daughter—or a niece or a neighbor or a friend – one day. And that little girl will be watching and listening to everything you say and do. What messages do you want her to hear?
I’ll never talk to my daughter about fitting into THAT DRESS. But I will talk to her about what it sounds like to hear pine needles crunching under my feet and what it feels like to cross a finish line and how special it is to see the world on foot. I will talk to her about hard work and self sufficiency. I will teach her the joy of working out by showing her I love it. And I’ll leave the rest up to her.
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wellfesto 
LOVE it, you nailed it when you said it is a way of life! I am a mother of four plus two steps and a grandmother of nine with another on the way. I am not any kind of coach or triathlete, etc. but I do strength train 3x/week. play tennis 3 hours once a week, bike10.5 miles to work and back 3x/week and run when I can fit it in. All of the kids and grandkids run, jump, kick, hit, lift, skip, hike, bike and so on and so on. Three of those families don’t have any kind of cable television! I love my workout/casual clothes but can glam a dress when the occasion calls for it. I will continue to encourage mine as well as everyone else’s youngsters to get rid of the tv, video games and computers and enjoy the gift of outdoors with which God has so graciously blessed us! Keep up the encouragement to the younger generations!
Wow, Nana R! ROCK ON. You’re an inspiration!
Not a role model for anyone, but a work in progress that knows for sure that it is not about the number of pounds, but the sheer joy of pushing yourself to do something that is soooo easy to not do!!! Always and forever feel better about life post gym with my buds!!!
Great message!
Should I one day have a daughter, I’d hope to show her and teach her these things through my own actions. Being fit & healthy is so much more than looking good in skinny jeans or a party dress; it truly is a lifestyle & an increased appreciation for our own strength & the natural beauty around us!
I started on my journey to get healthy 8 months ago. Through this process my daughter, who is 5 has watched me lose weight, gain strenght and confidence. I was never a runner, I am now and have run 1 mile fun runs with my daughter, and she had watched me run a couple of 5k. I have people all the time ask me how much more I want to lose and I say it’s not my weight that I keep track of. I keep track of how fast I can run a mile or how much weight I can bench or squat. Those are my numbers that I keep track of, because that is more important to me than my weight or jean size.
Thanks for sharing, Jessica! Love your attitude, and especially the fact that your daughter sees it every day. Keep it up!
LOVE this! It’s not about what size your jeans are or the number on the scale. It’s about strength, fitness and the overall pursuit of health. As a person who has struggled with a lifetime of eating disorders from childhood obesity to anorexia and bulimia and then morbid obesity…I am living proof that strength and fitness are the goal. My story is called My Road to STRONG. Watch it, it’s worth it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjD2ubIBHo0
Today I work with kids to take charge of their fitness and have fun doing it! I went from weighing 300 pounds to becoming a hip hop dance instructor. Talk about change! I still can’t believe it!
Thanks for sharing your story, Robanne. WOW. I wish I could take one of YOUR classes. Keep on keeping on!
This is fantastic. As a fitness instructor, I couldn’t agree more. Thank you!
Yes! Fitness is about what you can do, not about what you look like.
Exercise isn’t about fitting into a dress or bikini, it’s about health. Thanks to you for sense.
Amazing article … so well written. As a dad of a 3 year old girl i’m psyched to see this message spreading. Thank you!
YES! Such an important concept for dads to deliver. Thanks, Eric!
Beautifully written, and AMEN! I’ve been working on the language I use around my daughter regarding exercise. That it feels good to be healthy and strong, and that’s it’s fun to move our bodies.
Fantastic, I’ll tell my grandsons too. (I only have grandsons)
So aptly put. I know that when I keep my body strong, I feel beautiful and fit on the inside which makes me feel empowered and beautiful on the outside. Thank you!
This is an important read. I blog about trying all different types of exercise classes and I’ve noticed a trend in paperwork that studios make you sign. There is almost always a “why are you looking to exercise” question with “to lose weight” as the top option. I always cross that out and write “TO HAVE FUN” as largely as I can. Fitness is meant to be fun. Thank you for reminding us all of that. You go girl.
Love that you noticed that and shared it and most importantly, that you’re writing in “TO HAVE FUN.” YOU go, girl. Thanks!
Love this !
The author is upset about her teacher’s motivation for working out, but many (not all) of her reasons aren’t any better. She talks about using fitness as a way to get jobs and to network, etc. Are these really any less shallow than someone wanting to feel better and look better in their favorite new dress?
Wonderful message and reminder! I have two sons, but the message still hits home for my family. Lovely!
Reblogged this on Stop Sugar Coating It and commented:
I’d like to share this eloquent post because too often fitness magazines and trainers and even our friends (and selves) forget the greatest benefits of exercise are not how it makes us look. If we exercise only to look good in skinny jeans and crop tops we’re missing the point, setting ourselves up for stress and disappointment, and foregoing a host of mental and emotional benefits. Enjoy!
Important lessons for daughter AND sons! Thanks for a beautifully written piece!
Great post. Thanks for writing this. Going to share on FB now.
Inspirational…I will definitely share this with my girls.
Thanks Kathy.
As a former fitness instructor and one who attends classes still, thank you. One of my huge turn offs in a class still is you are going to be eating holiday treats or overindulge in some way so you need to do extra to work if off. That makes it a punishment to be there of move. I punish myself in enough ways and I don’t want and never wanted to turn something positive for myself or another into another means of punishment. We need to learn self kindness and encouragement. That is a great motivator.
What a brilliant post!
Thank you! I think I’ve read this a dozen time. What a great reminder! I worry often about how to teach my daughter balance and a love for fitness.
Reblogged this on Skinny on Skin Studio, LLC.
Reblogged this on eatbreatherun and commented:
Great article!
I love this! I’m a 34 year old mom to a 7 month old boy and exercise has been important to me for more than 20 years. I ended up with a pinched nerve 2 months ago, which left me barely able to walk for most of October. It was absolutely miserable to go from spinning, running, 3 mile walks to the park, etc., to laying in bed crying because the pain was so bad. The worst part was knowing how much my mental health was suffering because I couldn’t do anything to get those endorphins going. I ended up losing weight because all of the pain relievers that I was taking destroyed my appetite. I had never been one to exercise for the sake of looking good in that dress or bikini or whatever, but this whole experience showed me not to take physical activity for granted. I would much rather be a size 6 or 8 and be able to walk my son to the park in his stroller, than to be a size 4 and cry while walking from one room to another. I’m going to physical therapy and have gotten much better, but I can’t wait to go back to doing the things on your list!
Reblogged this on From Fluff 2 Fit 🙂 and commented:
Great read 🙂
My daughter is a ski racer at a very competitive level. Although I am absolutely sure that she lives by all of these examples on the list on a daily basis, I like to think that my husband and I had a big part in instilling these life lessons for her. Thank you for posting such a wonderful article.It is a fabulous reminder and a powerful testament to health and happiness. I will repost on my daughter’s racing FB page for sure at https://www.facebook.com/Jobie.ARTS
Wonderful Words. Wish I would have had these words in front of me when raising my two daughters. My daughter sent me this, via Facebook and I’m sure will be reminded of these words often.
Wonderful post! I was just thinking the same things during my ultra this past weekend for my 19 month old daughter. Shared it on my Facebook page.
Reblogged this on Natural Selection and commented:
Patti posted this to Facebook today and I love it. This post speaks to what I have been learning along the way about my on health and challenges. xOx
I would just add, if it has not been mentioned already, working out is FUN!
Yes, I totally agree but as a 18 year veteran Group Aerobic Instructor myself, it makes me cringe. I have been known to say some pretty foolish things, they come out of my mouth before I know it, Of course they are not the focus of my dialog, I am a strong believer in the non-aesthetic benefits of fitness. However I would about die if one of my participants captured one of those lame sentences and thought that was all I had o offer. I hope the instructor you are referring to has some redeemable words of wisdom.
Reblogged this on watsonillo and commented:
What she said… All true!
This might be the coolest fitness advice I’d ever read, REALLY! I will not only share with my daughter, but with my grandaughter.
Brava, Brynn.
I wish this philosophy was part of my family dynamic when I was young- I learned it on my own later in life (no regrets on my end, though!). If my mother had embraced these principles, she would have been a lot happier mentally and would not be dying piece by piece today.
I have learned, in my 45 years, that I must BE the example- of what one should do, not what one shouldn’t.
Thanks for writing this.
You can be the change you want to see in the world at any point in your life. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you continuing strength and joy!
Reblogged this on The Roads I Roam and commented:
You don’t need to have a daughter to appreciate this post. This is such a positive and productive way to think about fitness, I think that all of us can take something from it.
Wow what an amazing post! It’s funny, today I was thinking about the reasons why I work out, and this sums it up perfectly!