10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out
Mid-way through a recent group exercise class, the teacher lost me. She didn’t lose me because of some complicated step sequence or insanely long set of burpees; I mentally checked out because of a few words she kept saying over and over. “Come on! Get that body ready for your winter beach vacation! Think about how you want to look at those holiday parties! PICTURE HOW YOU’LL LOOK IN THAT DRESS!”
“THAT DRESS?” My brain couldn’t focus on an image of some random dress hanging in my closet. All I could think about was my three-year-old daughter hearing and trying to process those words.
My daughter’s little brain is making sense of the world every single second, taking in verbal and non-verbal cues about how things work and what things mean. And when it comes to exercise, I want her to grow up seeing it as a joy, and not a utility…as a gift, and not a chore…as an opportunity, not an obligation. I want her to do it for the love of it, not to fit into a dress. I want her to grow up knowing that…
- Strength equals self-sufficiency. Being strong – particularly as a woman – is empowering. It will feel good someday to be able to carry your own luggage down the stairs if the airport escalator is broken, and it will be important to have a solid shot at outrunning a stranger should you meet one a dark alley.
- Fitness opens doors. Being healthy and fit can help you see the world differently. The planet looks different from a bike or a pair of skis than it does from a car or an airplane. Out in the elements you have the time and space to notice details and meet people and remember smells and bugs and mud and rain and the feeling of warm sunshine on your face. And those are the moments that make up your life.
- The bike is the new golf course. Being fit may help you get a seat at the table. Networking is no longer restricted to the golf course, and the stronger you are – and the more people you can hang with on the road and trail – the more people you’ll meet.
- Exercise is a lifestyle, not an event. Being an active person isn’t about taking a class three times a week at the gym. It’s about things like biking to the grocery store and parking your car in the back of the lot and walking instead of taking a cab and catching up with friends on a hiking trail instead of a bar stool.
- Health begets health. Healthy behavior inspires healthy behavior. Exercise. Healthy eating. Solid sleep. Positive relationships. These things are all related.
- Endorphins help you cope. A good sweat session can clear the slate. You will have days when nothing seems to go right…when you’re dizzy with frustration or crying in despair. A workout can often turn things around.
- Working out signals hard-working. The discipline required to work out on a regular basis signals success. Someone recently told me they are way more likely to hire marathon runners and mountain climbers because of the level of commitment that goes into those pursuits.
- If you feel beautiful, you look beautiful. Looking beautiful starts on the inside. And being fit and strong feels beautiful.
- Nature rules. And if you’re able to hike/run/bike/swim/ski/snowshoe, you can see more of it.
- Little eyes are always watching. We learn from each other. You may have a daughter—or a niece or a neighbor or a friend – one day. And that little girl will be watching and listening to everything you say and do. What messages do you want her to hear?
I’ll never talk to my daughter about fitting into THAT DRESS. But I will talk to her about what it sounds like to hear pine needles crunching under my feet and what it feels like to cross a finish line and how special it is to see the world on foot. I will talk to her about hard work and self sufficiency. I will teach her the joy of working out by showing her I love it. And I’ll leave the rest up to her.
wellfesto 
Reblogged this on fearisevil and commented:
I love this. Feel like it NEEDS to be an article in “Body & Soul”
I really enjoyed reading this post. I’m so appreciative that my parents taught me a love for the outdoors and being active.
Only Today on my way to the GYM I was thinking, I am too tired to lift weights tonight, but damn I have to do it, I mean I lost 16 KGS 2 years ago and I maintained them until today, only because I am working out regularly, I don’t want to gain them back by starting to surrender to laziness, so I decided to resume my regular sessions at the gym 3 to 4 times a week but not convinced that someone could really enjoy working out, I mean, we enjoy the results of it, but not the process maybe, am I right? like, who would enjoy lifting weights while he can go out have a coffee with friends after a long day at work? or watch TV on his couch, or spend time with his family? well I have to say that I enjoy being in shape and strong but this is tiring!
You make such excellent points. I wish I had been raised with the mindset you impart in this article. I do believe that girls are so bombarded with the imagery of the media pressuring them to look a certain way, impressing upon them the very erroneous and dangerous mindset that they are only worth their outward beauty and body. Too often, this mindset leads to eating disorders and other psychological issues which are ingrained in us as we grow into women and mothers. However, what I can do now is raise my kids with the positive lifestyle of exercising and healthy habits. I don’t have a daughter, but I have an almost-2-year-old son and I believe it is just as important to teach him these habits/mindsets now, while he is still young. I’m also running the NYC marathon next year, and hopefully my son will be there at least part of the time so he can cheer me on and see that anyone can do something that they set their mind to. It’s not about “fitting into a dress”. It is absolutely about positive self-image and positive lifestyle changes, starting with exercise and healthy habits. And it is about enjoying nature and the seeing the daily challenges of life as an adventure unto itself. Thanks for posting this! Very nicely done!
Good luck in the NYC marathon! I’ve run it twice and think it’s the best marathon in the world. It’s so great that your son will be there to cheer you on. Thanks for the comment!
This is a perfect post. Thank you!
I absolutely love this! That is my desire-to see exercise not as an event or chore but to love it as a part of my life and journey toward total health.
Reblogged this on Tiffany's Stories and commented:
This post is very true!!
Great post! I agree wholeheartedly.
Brava!! Excellent post.
I took fitness classes one summer break at the local YMCA. One class, I could tell my instructor was very educated about the human body and put together an awesome kick butt class, however her “motivations” really discredited everything about her to me.
A Kelly Clarkson song came on during the class and all she immediately started talking about how much weight that she recently gained and we had to push harder to not end up like her. I think it’s very harmful for a lot of people because they start to workout for the wrong reasons
Comments like that whether people realize it or not fuel eating disorders, exercise addictions/obsessions and negative thoughts and I would never go back to an instructor regardless of how great of a class she taught if they chose to push the participants harder by putting others down.
Well said! You have given me great ideas for my Personal Health 2014 Challenge! Thank you for putting to words what is always in many of our heads!
Awesome — what will you be working on in 2014? All the best!
I decided to follow a vegan diet in 2013, and while that will continue without a second thought, I am pondering over:
1.) gluten free
2.) eat right for your type
3.) minimum days of working out per week
Still thinking of more options and maybe I’ll put a couple small challenges together into one!
This was fantastic!
And healthy body equals a healthy brain. One that does not get run over by stupidity, meanness or arrogance.
I am on board with you, and your daughter is a fortunate child. I applaud you.
Keep on writin’ and rockin’! (And workin’ out, too)
Cláudia.
http://booksintights.wordpress.com/
Reblogged this on Journey of a Confused, Lost, yet Free Freshman.
Thanks for the re-blog! Be well!
Reblogged this on Living Life: Day by Day and commented:
Words really do affect perception. What is your take on what you want your children to know about the things that are important to you? Here is one blogger’s take about health and working out and the words she wants to mean something to her young daughter.
I love your article and totally agree! It inspired me to write a post about how I use my strength to globe trot, take risks and be brave! Keep up the great work!
http://www.enoughaboutfood.com/1/post/2013/12/i-dont-want-to-carry-heavy-stuff-but-i-like-being-able-to-carry-heavy-stuff.html
Very inspiring post! I agree with everything stated here. The importance of health and fitness goes way beyond physical beauty. Ever since I have learned to work out the way I like to, I have been much happier, and my stress levels have gone down. Physical activity shouldn’t be a factor of stress; if it is, something is wrong. Thank you for sharing!
This is so true!! We need more women out there teaching our little girls things like this!
yes
Reblogged this on Helping people in transition to live a life of purpose.
Nailed it! Am going to share this with my daughter…it’s beautiful, the perception and observation of life in its little moments, and what one can do to be HAPPY and fitfully so 🙂
Beautifully put. Thankyou. I have a nearly-three year-old daughter and I completely agree
This post was brilliant! My blog, ‘My Sister’ focuses on similar topics to help empower women and young girls. Well done!
Reblogged this on My Sister and commented:
A brilliant post!
I really enjoyed reading this. Growing up, no one taught me these things about exercising. I think my life would have been different if I had been told these things. I sent a lot of time in doors, with my nose in a book. I have a hard time being motivated about exercising and now I am finding my inspiration little by little.
I, too, was not an ‘athletic’ child and was even ridiculed for my abilities (or lack thereof) so I retreated to what I preferred anyway….staying inside with a book. Now, at 50+ I’ve discovered how wonderful exercise & the outdoors makes me feel. Unfortunately, it’s late in the game to give my daughters that gift of understanding. But not TOO late, and I will work hard to encourage them. Kudos to the author for the wonderful gift she will give her daughter.
Esther, It is never to late to help your daughters understand. I started biking 3 years ago at 55 and now go on bike rides with my daughter who is 21 years younger than myself. We are both training to go for a ride down the California coast next year with her aunts and cousins. It will be a blast. We’re going to have a chase vehicle of my husband, step-father and my mom as well as my three little grandsons. The grandsons help me train weekly.
Your post is very meaningful. I’ll apply it to my future daughter.
Nice, refreshing post. I would take it one step further, as I do with my kids–we don’t call it working-out or exercising, we just do it without labeling it and it becomes a way of life. We play hard, we play all the time and we do it outside. Whether it’s soccer, skimming, paddling, tennis, swimming, smashball, skiing, body boarding, running, climbing, yoga… whatever activity it is, we do something active almost everyday, making moving a lifestyle rather than a “must motivate to work-out today to be healthy.”
I really like the re-frame from exercise –> play. That automatically feels like a joy and not a chore. Thank you. Your kids are lucky to have such a great role model!
Amen sisters. I started practicing this when my baby girl popped out almost 20 ago. After a while even I had more buy in. She recently described herself in an interview as a total badass…and she is!
Reblogged this on Moon with You and commented:
mom’s take on working out:
Thanks Brynn. I’m a research scientist in lifestyle behaviours including physical activity and I take issue with the commercialization of exercise. It seems to me that commercial interests want to perpetuate social stigma’s and maintain our physical insecurities for profit. Your version of exercise and indeed physical activity is spot on! I shall ask for this blog to be shared on our Sport and Exercise facebook page for my university. Thanks again.
Awesome and inspirational 🙂
Reblogged this on SIDLAK.
Love this article. Exercise has been a life long joy for me through my passion for dancing and now yoga and Pilates. Being active in sports and any form of exercise from a young age sets you up for life. So many more benefits than just fitting into a dress!!! http://www.corescape.co.za
Reblogged this on PILATES AND WELLNESS and commented:
Great article regarding attitude towards exercise!
Reblogged this on JoJo Is Blogging.
I think you’ve said just about everything I think about why a person should incorporate exercise in their life but just hadn’t found the right words to verbalise what I was thinking. You had the right words right here! Thanks for this post!
Reblogged this on lithakazi's Blog and commented:
Absolutely great! Me thinks my baby girl ought to be in this frame of mind where exercise is concerned… I, on the other hand, am in that awful box – exercise means torture… Breaking the cycle is my goal… Leggo!
Great blog! I totally agree! There’s far too much emphasis these days on looking the right way
http://hannahshomeoftangentramblings.wordpress.com/
Miranda, I agree. Not easy to read in enlish but I do understand and I agree. Have good times.
These are fantastic – #2 and #3 have been true for me recently. Thanks for sharing!
Totally agree! When we move beyond the vanity of the exterior, we begin to connect with something that is way cooler and much more enduring – ourselves and other people! Fitness is a path and a journey to becoming a better person – not just “looking good in a dress.” Thanks for this wonderful post!
“…But I will talk to her about what it sounds like to hear pine needles crunching under my feet and what it feels like to cross a finish line and how special it is to see the world on foot. I will talk to her about hard work and self sufficiency. I will teach her the joy of working out by showing her I love it. And I’ll leave the rest up to her.”
you know what, if I ever have a daughter, I will tell her just that. This is so soulful.
Thank you for sharing such wise words and am glad you got freshly pressed.
Great View!
Great Post. Anyone who loves out door activities knows how hard it is to stay away from being an active person when the desire to be there is strong. I am after years away finally strong enough to ride horses again and can’t tell you how hard it was being limited. Thank you the positive message.
Thank you so much for your words! I don’t have a daughter, or child, and probably won’t for several more years, but I just recently decided to commit to a healthier lifestyle. It’s amazing. My younger sister has always been the ‘athlete’ but over Thanksgiving holiday, she and I were able to talk about things we couldn’t before, and she was so EXCITED. She was thrilled that I have decided to pick up a ‘gym life.’ Being healthy is such an amazing way to connect to people, and being around people who care about their bodies and their health is a wise choice, I think.
Some of your comments spoke on the influence of media, especially on young women. I feel that this is so true. However, in an interview with Jennifer Lawrence recently, she was discussing her role as Katniss Everdeen (a very influential book character, and one of my personal heroes). She made a point to say that she wanted to look strong and healthy as Katniss, not like she skipped a meal. There are people who get it, and you are one of them. Thank you for sharing your words!
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, and congrats on all of the lifestyle shifts you’ve made. Hooray!
Reblogged this on varvarashinkarenko and commented:
Do Exercise! Use any chance during the day to have a walk, to dance or to stretch and jump – it will make you more happy, healthy, more beautful and kind